Three years ago the other night, I was with the significant other as opposed to the spouse. We were in her somewhat squalid rental and she announced that we were going to do something special that night. Well, that filled me with dread, actually. She then asked to borrow my buck knife -- why a guy in a suit teaching executive education to Navy types was carrying a 4 inch Buck folding blade at the significant other's home tells you more about me than her. Then, go in and change into my bathrobe. She went in and changed into her robe. Ok, the next step was to light a bunch of candles -- what is it about the Irish and candles? Is it the centuries of brainwashing and "Light a candle for your mother, maybe the good lord will cure the alcoholism and the dementia...Are we just a race of Pyromaniacs? I mean seriously, what the fuck is that all about? --and kneel on the floor in front of the fireplace in which we never had a fire despite the chill while she read what was supposed to be a Solstace prayer she got out of a New Age magazine. As I recall, vaguely, after the blessing of the summer or something, she then had me read some of Harry Potter to her. Ok, did I mention she had gorgeous green eyes, great legs and Irish blonde hair and most of the time was pretty sane? Because this doesn't sound like a her that an I would fall for.
Anyway, the news that the freaks came out on the solstice to the Salisbury plain to play at being Pagans and Druids didn't surprise me. Just annoyed me, in the way that Ryan Seacrest or whatever his name is annoys me. And, fucking Illinois Nazis...wannabes. I dislike wannabes. They're so busy wannabeing that 
they never are anything worth a shit. We're not suffering as a result of losing the touch of the sacred that the Druids or the old Celtic gods or the Norse or the "Pagans!" had or their wannabe successors profess to have. Now, we don't know what the fucking Druids did at Stonehenge, we don't know what they really believed. We know, we think, that they worshiped trees. We also know that they were into human sacrifice and ritual torture. I'm not aware of masses of Mestizos showing up on the solstice to sacrifice virgins and rip out their hearts. Despite the fun in Help! the Devotees in Kali aren't mainstream and few folks decide to become part time Thugees just to recapture their roots. I admire tribal members in this country who do the Sun Dance because that actually requires suffering and endurance and belief to get through. People who buy a big igloo shaped doghouse to pretend that it's a sweat lodge really should just go to the gym and sit in sauna. For some reason a lot of white folks want to harken back in their spiritual life to a reality that was not real. By the way, Pagan means not Judeo-Christian; it wasn't a specific religion. Calling yourself a Pagan could mean you're a Scientologist, a Sunworshipper or you worship your left as opposed to right testicle...
Did I mention it's 115 here in the Crossroads of Opportunity? Fuck a bunch of Druids...
Now in the Fremont district of Seattle, they don't pretend that this more than an excuse for fun...I
I love The Wicker Man. Had some casual friends years ago who were into the whole "pagan" thing. They considered the movie to have a happy ending. :)
Posted by: Brian | 25 June 2008 at 09:50 AM