Now, I know what you're thinking. AXE, you've been quiet about steroids so I guess you don't care about it that much anymore. And, you appear stunningly untaken by any presidential candidate. So, the next year should be good for old, strange music videos on the Defeatists. It's true that AGI and I are finishing up our cover of Anthraz's Greatest Hits as played on Lute and the weird Chinese three-string thing, and I am eagerly awaiting some new mysteries. However, I do work for a living and I also am still having trouble seeing. This means that I have to pick my shots. However, Gail Collins has slapped Obama, steroids adn McCain all at once, so I think I can safely comment. She rips McCain for hypocrisy and points out that he is fairly open on his feelings about Obama, ""who he has disliked ever since Obama had the temerity to present
himself as a campaign finance reformer without McCain’s permission." (By the way, IOZ, I think she screwed that up and the Times grammar cops are asleep on the job. It should have been whom he has disliked...or, have I missed something.) Anyway, she points out that McCain can pretty easily eviscerate Obama's campaign about cooperation and bringing about a new era of nonpartisan cooperation. I'd cheerfully eviscerate all of them at times, but the endless droning on this theme about bringing the independents together with the Democrats and some Republicans so that the lion will lie down with the lamb and on and on is really enough to make me think about New Zealand, mutton, Hobbits and all. Collins nails them both through a Strawman, the House Committee on Roger Clemens steroid use.
Now Obama’s big selling point is his promise to get rid of mindless partisanship on heavy
issues like health care. His signature pledge is to put the health care negotiations on C-Span so the lawmakers would feel that they’re under public scrutiny and thus be compelled to work together for the common good.
Do you wonder if this is really going to work when the Committee on Oversight and Government Reform was posturing for network news and still couldn’t even agree on whether Roger Clemens is a jerk?
Well, no. And it's as absurd as when that idiot from Ohio accused John Murtha of cowardice. Clemens is a jerk. He's a bully, a prima dona and an asshole. He's a good pitcher whose glory years were behind him when he went to Toronto and then found a new trainer and a newer lease on life. People would babble about how he used to be "a thrower, not a pitcher!" but his speed and endurance seemed to not drop off as much as it should have with age. Hell, yes he did killer workouts. That's what steroids let you do -- you can keep slamming away and maintain an impossible routine for someone doing stuff naturally. Look at the Governator, who has admitted using steroids in the Pumping Iron Days. He still looks good, but he's not trying to move Volkswagens. With his tongue. If anything, we can use Clemens and Bonds as a way for children to comparison shop -- Clemens probably used predominately steroids and Bonds a real balenced cocktail of HGH and steroids. Clemens' head looks smaller than when he was in Houston while Bonds head remains three sizes larger than it was when he wa naturally great.
Consider Lyle Alzado:
Lyle was one of the fiercest competitors the NFL has ever seen. In fact, due to Alzado throwing an opponent's helmet across the field, the league instituted a rule specifically banning the act.[1]
He continued to perform well for the Raiders in the 1983 season, helping lead them to a Super Bowl that year while recording 50 tackles and 7½ sacks. He also had an outstanding 1984 season with 63 tackles and 6 sacks, but was injured part way through 1985 and retired at the end of the year. His tackle and sack totals dipped to 31 and 3.
By any definition it was an excellent career, nearing 1,000 tackles, recording 112½ sacks and forcing 24 fumbles. He played in two Super Bowls and emerged a winner once. He attempted a comeback in 1990, but injured a knee during training camp and was released. After this he retired for good. However, his admitted use of anabolic steroids from the time he was in college has tainted his career achievements for some.
Steroids
Alzado is probably most remembered today for being one of the first major U.S. sports figures to admit using steroids. In the last years of his life, as he battled against the brain tumor that eventually caused his death at the age of 43, Alzado asserted that his steroid abuse directly led to his fatal illness, but his physician stated it could not possibly be true. According to some reports, Alzado was using natural growth hormone, harvested from human corpses, as opposed to synthetic growth hormones. However, shortly before his death, Alzado recounted his steroid abuse in an article in Sports Illustrated. He said:
“ I started taking anabolic steroids in 1969 and never stopped. It was addicting, mentally addicting. Now I'm sick, and I'm scared. 90% of the athletes I know are on the stuff. We're not born to be 300 lbs or jump 30ft. But all the time I was taking steroids, I knew they were making me play better. I became very violent on the field and off it. I did things only crazy people do. Once a guy sideswiped my car and I beat the hell out of him. Now look at me. My hair's gone, I wobble when I walk and have to hold on to someone for support, and I have trouble remembering things. My last wish? That no one else ever dies this way."[2] ” Alzado is buried at River View Cemetery in Portland.
Alzado visibly swelled as he grew older like Clemens and Bonds and shrunk after he quit the juice,
I feel sorrier for Lyle than for Bonds or Clemens or McCain or Batboy. However, I feel most sorry for us. It'll be interesting to see what the bubbas look like after they get out of jail for perjury and contempt. 
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