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« The key will be if the toes of the shoes get longer... | Main | Everybody gotta be different, the same way »

22 August 2006



Why fight the Evangelical Inquisition? In fact, I embrace it-- in a purely defeatist way, of course.

Rip up the Constitution and replace it with the Bible. Go ahead-- add the Republican Platform to the 10 Commandments. Make NASCAR The Official Sport of Jesus, watch the holy miracles that permanent estate tax repeal can perform, and get behind Our Godly Crusade to Invade Muslim Countries Kill All Their Leaders and Convert Them To Christianity*.

* The suggestion of Ann Coulter, author of "Godless."

Crusader AXE O' Lost Causes

Of course, as a member of the Illuminati and a deiist, GW would find GWB repellant so that the only way he could touch him would be with a sword or a glove across the face. (And what was the deal about GW and Lafayette sleeping under the same cloak at Brandywine? Trenton I could sort of understand, except I don't think the Marquis was here there.) As for Lincoln, he would find Bush's charity for the rich, malice toward all pretty hard to take. He'd have been convinced that these guys were James Buchanan Democrats...

The AXE has two pictures on his office wall -- John Wayne and Abraham Lincoln. In their way, they represent the best of what this country can be. I need. I look at the Duke, and if I need an alternative, I think of Tom Cruise; I look at Lincoln and start to sob...then I think of the "There wasn't any and we never claimed there was!" last week, and I get happy.

Lincoln wasn't a Defeatist or a Tiffanyist, but he was definitely a Crusaderist, conscious of the possibility of being wrong and considering it. Dubya, well, I hear him and I think of the parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector/Tax Farmer..."Oh, Lord, thank you for not making me like other men, not like this wretched, evil tax collector!" versus " Oh Lord, have mercy on me a sinner..." I suspect Dubya's interpretation of that story differs from mine...


Lincoln did know when it was time for a draft...

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