Comandante Agi's Top Ten Defeatists of 2005

*thanks to Reverend Quitter for input on this post

*this is purposely post-dated in order to stay on top of the page...enjoy your weekend :)

10. Gang of 14 – They averted a Senate showdown over the filibuster. The parliamentary tool most famous for being used to block civil rights legislation became a sacred cow to liberals everywhere. I was actually hoping to see Senator Frist enact the "nuclear option". That would have been exciting to watch the Senate get nuked. Except those fourteen Senators got in the way. Compromise is so defeatist, n'est ce-pas?

9. Downing Street Memo – Liberals got excited! Impeachment! Yay! Who cares? Traveling down the road of impeachment and memos and minutes from Britain is a lonely road that goes nowhere but off a cliff. I can’t believe I was actually excited about the damned memo earlier this year.

8. Arnold Schwarzenegger – Every one of his ballot measures was defeated in the California special election. After losing big-time he appointed a Democrat (former Gray Davis staffer) as his chief of staff. The California GOP is ready to bail on him and would rather have Mel Gibson run as the 2006 gubernatorial nominee. That whole special election made me reconsider democracy.

7. Syria – For assassinating the former Prime Minister of Lebanon, doing it poorly, and allowing the entire situation to backfire. Now Assad's Syria is screwed. Well Assad, you spent a few years waiting on the bench but have now officially replaced Iraq on the Axis of Evil. 

6. Bono – For orchestrating Live 8. Did it really do anything for Africa except re-ignite the stagnant careers of a few geriatric rockers for one single week? Oh, and being George W. Bush's butt boy. I liked your song "Vertigo" last year but honestly, the last good U2 album must have been Joshua Tree. Congrats on getting Time’s person of the year. I bet The Edge is jealous.

5. Scott McClellan – He is starting to accept his fate as the doomed White House Pool Boy Press Secretary. For using defeatist logic and caving in to reporters during press conferences. Favorite tag line: "Ongoing investigation". Scott, you are not gifted enough to control the press corps. You are not worthy!

4. Michael Brown – For displaying pure apathy and indifference toward the suffering and calamity occurring in New Orleans while he dined at a nice restaurant and contemplated the beauty of his wardrobe. Priceless quotes: "Can I quit now?" and "I am a fashion god". And that you are Sir Douchebag.

3. Harriet Miers – She withdrew her SCOTUS nomination after acknowledging she knew NOTHING about constitutional law. Harrie, your love notes to the president were cute and all but they won’t get you a seat on the nation’s highest court. Nice hairdo by the way. Go back to embroidering the president's pen holders or something...

2. Valerie Plame – For quitting the CIA after she became the center of a three-year investigation. The second worst quitter of 2005. After all that fuss you left the freaking agency!? Why not wait until both Scooter and Rove have been indicted. Come on...

and the number one defeatist of 2005 is....

[drum roll]

1. Terri Schiavo – The protests, the candlelight vigils, the special meeting of Congress—it was all for her and it was all in vain. Thanks for wasting the nation's time, Terri. Although I did enjoy the competing media Death Watch between you and Pope John Paul. And how about Tom DeLay and Bill Frist using your corpse to re-enact "Weekend at Bernies"!

Here's Reverend Quitter on Schiavo:

"i mean, sheesh. what a quitter. and after all that fuss. we defeatists could all learn a thing or two from her example."

Yeah, we'll try better next year.

Comments

[reverend quitter]

agi. you have outdone yourself. defeaters beware!

[Robot Buddha]

Bravissmo.

[Robot Buddha]

Bravissimo! I suck.

[mr fun]

oh terri, why did you give in?

quitter.

well done, Agi.

[the quitter]

one thing agi. you forgot the single finest image from the shiavo thing, if not the entire year.

http://blog.spacebear.net/pics/schiavo-protest.jpg

[comandante agi]

Thanks Reverend, I was looking for that pic and couldn't find it. Leave it to a young punkass in a Ramones t-shirt to pull that shit. Awesome. I also couldn't find a pic of the guy giving Nazi salutes and goose-stepping in front of Terri's hospital.

[Neil Shakespeare]

DEAR COMMANDANTE ET AL: I have published your Top Ten List over at my blog and linked to it, in the hope that it will aid the cause. I have also linked to you and done a blockquote on your MANIFESTO.

[helmut]

Blog rules. Propaghandi sucks. But you made up for it with Steve Earle and The Popes. But the DK's haven't aged well. But... aw, I give up.

[comandante agi]

Thanks for spreading the defeatist message, Neil. You will be rewarded in the afterlife with forty virgins.

Helmut, You can thank Crusader Axe for Steve Earle and the Popes--those are his musical choices. As for Propaghandi, I've never listened to them. Dead Kennedy's didn't age well because Jello is no longer with them. Their first album is still killer. Thanks for stoppping by...

[blogenfreude]

I have some quibbles with your list, but at this point, this late in the year, I am, just.so.fucking ... defeated ...

[Night Bird]

But there is a blogsphere far beyond this one and I have come to know some really amazing people...[more]

[Ames Tiedeman]

You people Mock everything right and rejoice to everything wrong...

So sad...

[Comandante Agi]

If you despise our blog so greatly why do you keep coming back?

You people Mock everything right and rejoice to everything wrong...

Aww, Ames, perhaps you finally understand us. My heart is filled with cheer.

[Sprinkles Destroyer of Worlds]

Why am I not suprised that you biggets are celebrating the death of a man who thought his actions were rightouse, instead focusing your attention on the corruption that is not overseas, you find it ammusing to post pictures of a dead man...dont get me wrong,I dont support them, but dont you think that posting a dead mans face for all to see, is lowering ourselves to there levels. The degredation to your morality is kind of amusing to a 16 year old such as myself,i dont understand how you can all sleep at night knowing that Most of you probably voted for our ignorant sadist leader. Pay attention sometime, you will find that most of the shit you all bitch about is mild mannered compared to what we have right here in America. Anyways peace out, love to the juggalo nation

[Sprinkles]

You guys tried to block me out, but i am back, the only reason you blocked me out is becuase you know i was right, sprinkles is rarely wrong