A Defeatist’s Guide to the War on Everything, Part Three

Synopsis: In the War on Everything, things are not always what they seem

A group of social actors willingly come together to create a war by following the four noble truths. If necessary, they will re-frame their war by using creative semantics. Occasionally, a group of social actors will publicly complain about a war which they claim is being waged by an opposing group of social actors. However, upon closer inspection, one may learn that the actors who are complaining an in fact the creators of the war.

Case in point: The War on Christmas

Conservatives accuse their liberal opponents of waging a "War on Christmas". However, conservatives are the ones who created the concept of a War on Christmas and then accused their liberal opponents of waging such war.

Liberals have never waged a war on Christianity in the traditional sense of the word. Wars usually begin with public declarations (step three of the four-step defeatist! guide to the War on Everything). I admit that the "Happy Holidays" crap is an offshoot of that despicable liberal "PC" speak, but that ain't no war.

I personally have no objections with the term “Christmas Tree”. I have a Christmas tree in my house because of tradition. I also like the look of a lighted tree in a dark room. Calling it a “Holiday Tree” is ridiculous. It's not a Hanukkah tree or Kwanzaa tree. It's always been associated with Christmas and dates back to Medieval Germanic traditions as well as pre-Christian Roman traditions.

This re-naming of a tree does not constitute a war. Until a well-known liberal steps up to a podium and publicly declares war on Christmas and pledges to purge the baby Jesus from the manger, then I stick by my firm belief that the War on Christmas is a right-wing lie.

Don't fuck with the Jesus.

Comments

[the quitter]

this is.. good.

[Deborah]

I admit that the "Happy Holidays" crap is an offshoot of that despicable liberal "PC" speak

I, otoh, admit no such thing. "The Holiday Season" generally means that season that starts at Thanksgiving, encompasses Advent & Christmas, and ends at New Year's Day. See, it's a season with a bunch of holidays.

I will go so far as to admit that the meaning of "The Holidays" has been expanded to include such occasions as Chanukah, Kwaanza, and Diwali and Ramadan (in those years when the latter two fall at that time). Some extremely open-minded folks might even include Yule and other Pagan Solstice celebrations.

But is "PC" synonymous with "inclusive"? I think not.

[comandante agi]

"Happy Holidays" is merely a marketing ploy created by corporations to lure consumers. It plays well to the sheep.
I don't believe that PC is necessarily inclusive. It was created by overly sensitive people who can't handle the truth.

The PC crap I'm referring to is re-naming a Christmas Tree into a Holiday tree. That's like calling a menorah a Winter Candelabra.

[mr fun]

woah there tiger:

http://eyeofthestorm.blogs.com/eye_of_the_storm/2005/05/war_on_people_o.html

http://eyeofthestorm.blogs.com/eye_of_the_storm/2005/05/just_days_after.html

http://malignant.blogs.com/blogshite/2005/06/wopof_initial_r.html

;-)

[the quitter]

wow mr. fun, that brings back some memories. i forgot that i had agreed to participate in the w.o.p.o.f. errr i mean, my twin brother el serracho agreed. or something.

[el s]

http://elserracho.com/blog/index.php?s=w.o.p.o.f.&sentence=AND&submit=Search

[comandante agi]

Hey quitter, we should hit up Saddleback Megachurch. That's gotta be fun.

[the quitter]

i'm in. i'll bring my flask.

[comandante agi]

The Lord is calling us: http://www.saddleback.com/flash/default.htm

[Deborah]

The PC crap I'm referring to is re-naming a Christmas Tree into a Holiday tree. That's like calling a menorah a Winter Candelabra.

Well, on the one hand, it might also be a Yule tree; we Pagans do use 'em.

And by the way, a menorah is a candelabra. A menorah for Chanukah is called a chanukiah.

[comandante agi t. prop]

Sorry Deborah, the menorah was a bad analogy. I guess I can't come up with a good one. I admit defeat.

But, I still insist on calling a Christmas tree a "Christmas Tree" and not a Jesus Shrub, Bodhi Tree or Holiday Bush.

[rev. quitter]

i enjoy using the lower-case to write christmas and christ and god or whatever. it's my form of silent protest.

[comandante agi]

I love it when the faithful type God as G-d. As if typing the "o" would be disrespectful. At least Tiffany doesn't care about us typing out her full name.

[rev. quitter]

i also enjoy things like - holy fucking jesus christ in a turd sandwhich!

[Crusader AXE of the Lost Causes]

Hmm. By the blessed virgin's bloody tampons?

Anyway, you know the G-d thing is a take off on not spelling out all of Yahweh as some of the ultra-Orthodox did to avoid something...blasphemy, letting God know they were thinking about him, whatever.

Tiffany just doesn't care about squat...unless it makes her ass look big.

As for holiday season v. Christmas season, well, I'm trying to find a way to link our site to Denis Leary's Have a merry fucking Christmas or Robert Earle Keen's Merry Christmas from the Family. I expect with spouse pissed off and gorging on sugar which goes well with the diabetes, significant other pissed off and being snarky and uncooperative about anything, the cats being cats and the dogs being dogs, being in Shanghai at Christmas will be the best present I can give myself this year. Although, maybe we should do something on the most existential Christmases we've spent...

When I hear the words PC I look for my gun...err, AXE. PC is consideration as played by Hobbits...

[comandante agi t. prop]

http://tits4tots.com/

[N/A]

as I said BE CAREFUL OF THE POSTS THAT YOU PUT UP ABOUT YOUR CREATOR JESUS CHRIST! Remember JESUS LOVES EVERYONE EVEN YOU!! Jesus is a holy God and He would never make a statement such as that, BE CAREFUL!

[The Jesus]

Let me tell you something, bendeco.
You pull any your crazy shit with
us, you flash a piece out on the
lanes, I'll take it away from you
and stick it up your ass and pull
the fucking trigger til it goes
"click".

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Let's share love, not war!

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[Soft Cialis]

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[ianne]

this is so mean....