the defeatists!

Well, he probably doesn't care all that much, but...

Albert Camus died in a car accident and was buried. The guy who wrote The Stranger and supposedly inspired George Bush to buy an dictionary so he could read it so he could pretend to have some depth, and who along with Holden Caufield inspired a generation of Catholic high school intellectual wannabes, and who looks better philosophically every day, wrote novels, articles, and philosophical treatises.  By all accounts, he was a decent guy. A good writer. A honest man. He split with Sartre and Le Temps Modern over all that commie crap. He was neither left nor right...a true libertarian.

And now Sarkozy wants to dig up the poor bastard and move his grave to the Pantheon, the great mausoleum of French Intelligentsia. Jean Camus, the son, thinks it's a lousy idea and would piss off the old man; the daughter manages the estate, and it's ok with him. Sarkozy supposedly is really in favor of it, and is waiting for the family to tell him to bring in the bulldozer, and the French are being French. In a good way...

“What do we have to do to transfer Camus to the Panthéon?” asked one reader on the Web site of Le Figaro, a daily that is generally supportive of Mr. Sarkozy. “The son doesn’t agree: It’s Sarkozy who proposed it, so it’s suspect! Ah, the day that the left proposes it, then it will be different. Let’s leave Albert where he is while we wait.” Jean Daniel, editor of the newsmagazine Le Nouvel Observateur, told Le Monde: “The crushing character of the consecration appears contrary to the ideas for which Camus is famous.” “For me, Camus is the author of ‘The Rebel,’ who spoke of the heroism of moderation,” Mr. Daniel said. “I don’t see the Panthéon glorifying that kind of heroism. Camus was totally libertarian. Never did the rejection of totalitarianism lead him to join either the center or the right.”

Well, the AXE has a slightly different take on this. I believe that Camus would find it ironic and absurd. If he were to be sitting around in the Elysian Fields overlooking the left bank with Sartre, Malraux, de Beauvoir, Kierkegaard, Jim Morrison, John Lennon and Edith Piaf, smoking Gauloises and cigars, drinking Pastis and espresso, they'd probably be having a good old time talking about it and laughing. Lennon and Piaf would be doing a chorus of Working Class hero while Morrison and and de Beauvoir dance and Sartre, Kierkegaard, Malraux and Camus argue about God, Life, and so on. Levi-Strauss might wander in for a chat, bringing along some raw and cooked stuff to snack on. Celine might wander in, glance around, and when they all stop talking, stare scarily until Piaf goes over and leads him to back, where she gives him a blow job. Lennon then offers guitar lessons...

The only real reason to move the guy is to increase the sale of books and memorabilia. "Je suis allé au Panthéon et tout que j'ai obtenu était ce t-shirt moche de Camus." While glancing at some of them, I came on these things, and they sum it up for me quite well...
and this one...

And this...which was on a flimsy T-shirt but if you wanted a good shirt, the price went up very fast. I think the man would have appreciated the irony...and, of course, an unsupported mime...

Freedom is nothing but the chance to be better...

So, AXE's take is simple...it's always better to do nothing than something unless you need to do something. In this case, let the bones rest; put up a plaque at the Pantheon on an empty tomb, saying something along the lines of

"Camus a diminué, se sentant il avait été jeté hors de meilleurs endroits que ceci…"

Playing Palin, she thinks she freaking Madonna...

Divas do not make good politicians. I know people who have worked in the Senate, for example, and behind the scenes guys like Chris Dodd and Chuck Schumer are total dickweeds. Teddy Kennedy, except for the drunken Irishman schtick and the cockhoundness before his remarriage, was a fairly decent guy. The Alaska delegation seemed to have a fixation on assholes, although Begich has yet to offend anyone the way Ted Stevens offended all sentient beings. Bill Frist was supposedly a fairly nice guy; Trent Lott was charming; Bob Dole had an extraordinary sense of humor. In fact, I suspect Dole could join the Defeatists as Cato and make all our stuff here and at the outlier sites -- or sites of which we are outliers -- a lot better. His wife, on the other hand, makes dildoes look warm and cuddly. However, they were all invariably polite to people who demonstrate that they love them. Until now...



So, Sarah Palin is showing her true colors. Not that anyone needs to be surprised but...the AXE figures that she'll blame her self-induced flashing of the true Sarah on the liberal media somehow.

"We gave up our entire workday, stayed in the cold, my kids were crying," one man was quoted saying. "They went home with my wife. She was out here in the freezing cold all day. I feel like I don't want to support Sarah."...Another woman told Indy Channel, "We bought two books from Borders to have our receipt and our wristband to get it signed tonight. My books are going back to Borders tomorrow." The angry crowd turned on Palin as she returned to her "Going Rogue" tour bus. (Emphasis added)

First of all,  The Typepad is not recognizing Palin as a proper noun as I draft this, which means Michael Palin should sue. Next when a crowd of ignorant assholes turns from cheering and orgasmic moaning to booing and catcalls, that's pretty tame behavior. Wonder how many of these twits were carrying guns? If they'd shot the tires out and torched the goddamn bus while making her sign the books and their various body parts, and then barbecuing the kid, then they would have turned. Here, some dipshits got a comeuppance...delivered by the Moose-slaughterer Profundis herself...

This makes the John Stewart bit even more relevant. Seriously, if the candidate for whatever is this oblivious, this tone deaf, then all I can say is that Mitt-Plastic-Fantastic-Romney might have a chance. Huckabee is supposed to actually care about people, even though he gets his economic theory from Malthus. The more Palin shows that she's just a self-centered, baby-popping, ignorant cunt from the backwoods, the better their chances. However, neither MPFR nor Huckleberry can get the crowds riled up and the base enthralled. If I were the Dems, I'd stockpile this footage and play it often.

I remember a sleazy little fan book I bought in 1966...

In it, he wasn't quoted so much about wanting to be Woody as about becoming more like the blues players, Mance Lipscomb, Lightning Hopkins and the various itinerant minstrels like Ramblin' Jack Elliot, and Bill Broozey. Download BeyondHereLiesNothin_.mp3. Go Figure.

Somethings are more insane than others...There is only one Doctor Duke!

I occasionally visit the Southern Poverty Law Center's blogsite because they do an excellent job of tracking the nutcases. There, I happened on this gem...David Duke, aka Dippest Shit in Louisiana, is now contending that he's an artist. Well, as SPLC's editor points out, not quite. He takes purty pictures, and then enhances them with photoshop. His twitship presents among other things a shot of the gorgeous city of Salzburg that he tinted rather oddly...like he was trying for that Obama poster look on a city and just blew it terrible. I've been to Salzburg numerous times -- strongly recommend the Columbusbrau -- and have taken pictures back in the days of 35mm actual film as cutting edge tech of the same view; doesn't make me think Salzburg. It makes me think, I don't know, Zanzabar, only with fir trees and the Salznach river flowing through it. The Festung Salzburg has no salmon hues to it...

Of course, this might be in Duke's mind the sort of thing Hitler might have done had he had Photoshop and a Sony digital camera. 

However, what got my attention was the gall of the asshole. He went to some Ukarainian place, thing, diploma mill, whatever called "Ukrainian Interregional Academy of Personnel Management (MAUP)." I'm surprised that this guy, who makes David Vetter look "smoooooooth," can read in English let alone in Ukrainian what with the Cyrilic Alphabet and all. They also hired the dipshit to teach there, which he did for a term. Oh, his thesis was on "Zionism as a Form of Ethnic Supremacism" which means he based his doctorate on the empirical truth of the Secret Protocols of the Elders of Zion.  Oddly enough, while MAUP is the largest non-governmental university in Ukraine (one of my secretaries is a Ukrainian immigrant. She's married to an African American. She would definitely think this guy is an asshole...) it's diplomas aren't recognized in Poland or pretty much anywhere else. Saudi Arabia, maybe. I guess a degree from this place might get the guy a gig teaching in a Madrassa in Pakistahn or some such place, if it weren't for the whole "the only thing you need to know is the Koran" thing that makes madrassas such dull places for football weekends and panty raids.

Now the degree he got is something called a "Kandidat Nauk" which appears to be a degree created so Russian flunkies hoping to get gigs someplace besides Sverdlosk. It requires a dissertation and a defense, supposedly. I'm sure Duke does really well in Ukrainian or Russian. After all, wasn't the Klan a commie plot anyway?  The degree is sorta, kinda, almost a Ph.D. I guess it's like a DBA or an Ed.D. It's a practical degree -- in the science of racism, in this guy's case.

My problem is that he call's himself Dr. Duke. There is only one Dr Duke, Hunter S. Thompson using his nom de plume in Fear and Loathing Days. Metaphysically, I'm pretty sure that in some metaphysical hinterland, Hunter is filling a briefcase with a fifth of Tequila, a case of Red Stipe Ale, a couple of boxes of amyls and a fucking .50 Desert Eagle loaded with Isreali hotloads to go take care of this idiots geist. Gonna shoot him right in the zeitgeist, and we'll all applaud. Metaphysically...

Now, this is the sort of book they should be reading in English Lit 101

Because, after all, isn't this what all great literature is about? 

And everybody needs one of these...don't they?

Most of us are above average

In the number of feet. Seek out and read the bloody book.  Most Americans have no clue about the meaning of statistics; you see a number, you figure well, somebody counted it. Maybe yes, maybe no. It all depends -- on who counts, what they are counting, where they are standing when they count and on and on and on and on. As things devolve further, this will become either more important so you can make an informed choice, or more depressing because you'll have a better understanding of why your informed choice won't work either. The 
 

Pork Bellies and Dwarfian View of Australia, Tom Friedman and Valerie Bertinelli's Ass

I am constitutionally unable to read Tom Friedman, listen to him on TV or even discuss him rationally. When the significant other proposed that we read "The World is Flat" together outloud while cuddling, I accused her of being on acid. I wasn't sure why, but whenever I started to read anything, or listen to anything, my brain would shut off and go to a happy place where Hendrix, Johnny Cash and Socrates are jamming. On kazoos. Anything is better than Friedman.

Well, Matt Taibbi has explained my reaction. Freidman is a hyprocritical idiot. The Times needs to Taibbi and put Freidman to work on the Obiturary Page or possibly the social news; maybe Murdoch would be interested in adding him to the editorial page of the Examiner. Or the Journal. Taibbi has a no bullshit, "what the fuck are you saying!" approach that resembles Hunter Thompson only without all the drama and drugs references...to his own use. I started reading the review, smiling slightly, but then started to laugh. It takes a lot to make the AXE laugh like this. It wasn't Lenny Bruce, "Come on down, Christ and Moses laughing:" it wasn't "Coke (the cola, not the other stuff; I'm clean and sober although lately I'm wondering why?) out your nose laughing..." It was the snarky glee of first reading Twain's discussion of Fenimore Cooper.

"In addition to these large rules, there are some little ones. These require that the author shall:

12. Say what he is proposing to say, not merely come near it. 13. Use the right word, not its second cousin.14. Eschew surplusage.15. Not omit necessary details.16. Avoid slovenliness of form.17. Use good grammar.18. Employ a simple and straightforward style.

"Even these seven are coldly and persistently violated in the "Deerslayer" tale."

Twain wrote fiction, Cooper wrote fiction; Taibbi is a journalist/pundit, Freidman is a pundit/journalist. Twain didn't take Cooper personally; the guy was long dead. Taibbi takes Freidman personally, because he opposes muddied thinking, bad writing and inconsistency.  His take on Friedman's writing is vicious...

"The first rule of holes is when you’re in one, stop digging.When you’re in three, bring a lot of shovels.” (AXE Comment and snark. I remember this and thought at the time that Randy Travis should have received credit for the line. Still do. Travis writes better.) First of all, how can any single person be in three holes at once? (AXE Comment -- Friedman has the Targis, he's going ot be the next Doctor Who!) Secondly, what the fuck is he talking about? If you’re supposed to stop digging when you’re in one hole, why should you dig more in three? How does that even begin to make sense? It’s stuff like this that makes me wonder if the editors over at the New York Times editorial page spend their afternoons dropping acid or drinking rubbing alcohol. (AXE Comment -- My bet is on the rubbing alcohol, or since this is the Times, aged Absinthe...) Sending a line like that into print is the journalism equivalent of a security guard at a nuke plant waving a pair of mullahs in explosive vests through the front gate. It should never, ever happen.

But, Taibbi really makes my problem with Freidman obvious. I can establish a correlation between any two, three or ten things, but the correlation doesn't mean anything. Sure, cause and effect since Hume has been an assumption, but mere correlation is NOT PROOF! Taibbi dissects one of Friedman's more famous pieces of bullshit, the correlation between "freedom" and the price of oil.

Friedman plots exactly four points on the graph over the course of those 30 years. In 1989, as oil prices are falling, Friedman writes, “Berlin Wall Torn Down.” In 1993, again as oil prices are low, he writes, “Nigeria Privatizes First Oil Field.” 1997, oil prices still low, “Iran Calls for Dialogue of Civilizations.” Then, finally, 2005, a year of high oil prices: “Iran calls for Israel’s destruction.”Take a look for yourself: I looked at this and thought: “Gosh, what a neat trick!” Then I sat down and drew up my own graph, called SIZE OF VALERIE BERTINELLI’S ASS, 1985-2008, vs. HAP- PINESS. It turns out that there is an almost exact correlation! Note the four points on the graph:

1990: Release of Miller’s Crossing

1996-97: Crabs

2001: Ate bad tuna fish sandwich at Times Square Blimpie; felt sick 2008: Barack Obama elected

Sometimes a writer gets it and all we can do is stand in awe...at the awful and the awesome. Read the column. Enjoy. Then trash a mall...you'll understand after reading the column. I'm headed to B&N to order his book, The Great Derangement. Taibbi could be the American Zola...

The Flintstones was a documentary...

Breaking NEWS! The Religious-Right-Neo-Con-Reactionary version of  Shakesville and related sites has done us all an amazing favor. Bishop Ussher's account of the beginning of ancient history from the Creation on October 4, 4004 BCE is finally available in English, ...for homeschoolers and pastors and similarly enlightened folk everywhere. Or, should I use VOLK? You can get it by mail, or at any creation, Dinosaurs and Us-type Museum, right next to the Triceratops Petting Zoo.

"Using the Bible as his timeline, Ussher began with the death of Nebuchadnezzar as a reliable date and worked backward through the genealogies of the Old Testament to arrive at the date of creation — 4004 B.C. Integrating biblical history (around 15% of the text is from the Bible) with secular (around 85% of the material is from non-biblical sources), Ussher wrote this masterpiece. ( AXE snark: I'm confused...how is the date of old Nebuchanezzar's death reliable? On what sort of specious logic did JU base that? Carbondating? Hardly...and, this period of "research" predated modern geology, palenthology, and things like the discovery of the Rosetta Stone or the Dead Sea Scrolls. Ussher was working from the King James Bible to prove the authenticity of the King James Bible. As a work of history it ranks right up there with...fuck, I don't know, the Aeneid.)

"Considered not only a literary classic, but also an accurate reference,(AXE Snark: By whom? Bob Jones? Sarah Palin? William Jennings Bryan? ) "The Annals of the World" was so highly regarded for its preciseness that the timeline from it was included in the margins of many King James Version Bibles throughout the 18th, 19th, and 20th centuries, calling to mind the fact that the earth is only around 6,000 years old. The fact that Ussher’s chronology has been deleted from Bibles is evidence of the Church’s backsliding into the deceptive ideas of evolution. (AXE Snark: Once again, circular logic and just irritation. There's no more reason to cite Ussher as an authoritative reference in a published edition of the bible than to cite Mallory in a history of England. By the early  20th century, there had been over 150 years of biblical criticism including advanced linguistic and historical theology. Ussher was no more relevant than Mallory, and no where near as fun as Mallory.)

"The Annals of the World" is a necessary addition to any church library, pastor’s library, or any library — public or personal. The entire text has been updated from 17th-century English to present-day vernacular( AXE Snark -- The King James Version of the Bible is a marvelous piece of poetry and literature; one of the abominations of the 20th Century was applying contemporary "vernancular" to it. Frankly, if you get the translation right -- and translating from 18th Century Latin can be as tricky as translating from the 2nd Century Greek if not more so! Particularly since the majority of folks writing and thinking and speaking in Latin from the 18th Century onwards were Catholic and largely Jesuit! who have problems with bullshit, unless they're writing it themselves.) in a five-year project commissioned by Master Books. Containing many human-interest stories from the original historical documents collected by Ussher, this is more than just a history book — it’s a work of history."(AXE Snark: Yes it is. But, it's like reading Ptolemy for astronomy or Galen for medicine -- it's an interesting part of the history of ideas, but that's all it is. It tells more about the enlightenment and the effort to understand things and put them in context as opposed to blind belief. )

Thanks to Ed Brayton and Dispatches  from the Culture Wars for this one. As one of his commentators put it,

"Ed's afternoon routine:

1) Scan Wingnut Daily."

He sacrifices himself so the rest of us don't have to actually go over there ourselves. Just like everything you really need to know about Fox News you can get from The Daily Show.

It's so sad when satire need only tell the truth...

Wonkette summarizes the financial/economic meltdown very well indeed.

If you own a house, it’s now worth negative nothing. If you’re a renter, your landlord is probably already in foreclosure and you will soon be homeless. Got some investments, maybe a 401k or whatever? You really don’t even want to look. Got one of those fancy jobs with benefits and health care and such? You will soon be unemployed, living in a Hobo Jungle down by the railroad tracks in the darkness on the edge of town.

I always wondered about the title Let Us Now Praise Famous Men. It's from Ecclesiastes, which is a fine place to read ashes and despair. Still, the study of grinding poverty in the face of a souless economic   system and it's incredible illustrations belie the title. Thanks to Wonkette, I now know what it means in the context of a failed economic system -- "So, let's blame these assholes."

Tripping over facts in the face of euphoria, stupidity, ignorance and hubris

“The Army, as the service primarily responsible for ground operations, should have insisted on better Phase IV planning and preparations through its voice on the Joint Chiefs of Staff,” the study noted. “The military means employed were sufficient to destroy the Saddam regime; they were not sufficient to replace it with the type of nation-state the United States wished to see in its place.”

If you want to know what went wrong with Iraq, read the studies  being published by the Combined Arms Center and the Combat Studies Institute. The Army, Navy and Marines have a tradition going back to WWII if not further of being ruthlessly objective and straight in their studies of conflicts. Euphoria and stupidity gets soldiers, sailors and marines killed, so it's better to learn the lessons of the past that are really there than the one's you wish were there.

This war is no exception to that rule; if anything, it's the rule after years of strength training, meditation and martial arts exercises. One statement by General Jack Keane who was Vice Chief of Staff says it all...“I said, ‘Jesus Christ, John, this is a recipe for disaster,’ ” General Keane told Army historians. “I was upset about it to say the least, but the decision had been made and it was a done deal.” I wonder how many catastrophes have been the results of done deals that were too hard to unscrew...