the defeatists!

I remember a sleazy little fan book I bought in 1966...

In it, he wasn't quoted so much about wanting to be Woody as about becoming more like the blues players, Mance Lipscomb, Lightning Hopkins and the various itinerant minstrels like Ramblin' Jack Elliot, and Bill Broozey. Download BeyondHereLiesNothin_.mp3. Go Figure.

Somethings are more insane than others...There is only one Doctor Duke!

I occasionally visit the Southern Poverty Law Center's blogsite because they do an excellent job of tracking the nutcases. There, I happened on this gem...David Duke, aka Dippest Shit in Louisiana, is now contending that he's an artist. Well, as SPLC's editor points out, not quite. He takes purty pictures, and then enhances them with photoshop. His twitship presents among other things a shot of the gorgeous city of Salzburg that he tinted rather oddly...like he was trying for that Obama poster look on a city and just blew it terrible. I've been to Salzburg numerous times -- strongly recommend the Columbusbrau -- and have taken pictures back in the days of 35mm actual film as cutting edge tech of the same view; doesn't make me think Salzburg. It makes me think, I don't know, Zanzabar, only with fir trees and the Salznach river flowing through it. The Festung Salzburg has no salmon hues to it...

Of course, this might be in Duke's mind the sort of thing Hitler might have done had he had Photoshop and a Sony digital camera. 

However, what got my attention was the gall of the asshole. He went to some Ukarainian place, thing, diploma mill, whatever called "Ukrainian Interregional Academy of Personnel Management (MAUP)." I'm surprised that this guy, who makes David Vetter look "smoooooooth," can read in English let alone in Ukrainian what with the Cyrilic Alphabet and all. They also hired the dipshit to teach there, which he did for a term. Oh, his thesis was on "Zionism as a Form of Ethnic Supremacism" which means he based his doctorate on the empirical truth of the Secret Protocols of the Elders of Zion.  Oddly enough, while MAUP is the largest non-governmental university in Ukraine (one of my secretaries is a Ukrainian immigrant. She's married to an African American. She would definitely think this guy is an asshole...) it's diplomas aren't recognized in Poland or pretty much anywhere else. Saudi Arabia, maybe. I guess a degree from this place might get the guy a gig teaching in a Madrassa in Pakistahn or some such place, if it weren't for the whole "the only thing you need to know is the Koran" thing that makes madrassas such dull places for football weekends and panty raids.

Now the degree he got is something called a "Kandidat Nauk" which appears to be a degree created so Russian flunkies hoping to get gigs someplace besides Sverdlosk. It requires a dissertation and a defense, supposedly. I'm sure Duke does really well in Ukrainian or Russian. After all, wasn't the Klan a commie plot anyway?  The degree is sorta, kinda, almost a Ph.D. I guess it's like a DBA or an Ed.D. It's a practical degree -- in the science of racism, in this guy's case.

My problem is that he call's himself Dr. Duke. There is only one Dr Duke, Hunter S. Thompson using his nom de plume in Fear and Loathing Days. Metaphysically, I'm pretty sure that in some metaphysical hinterland, Hunter is filling a briefcase with a fifth of Tequila, a case of Red Stipe Ale, a couple of boxes of amyls and a fucking .50 Desert Eagle loaded with Isreali hotloads to go take care of this idiots geist. Gonna shoot him right in the zeitgeist, and we'll all applaud. Metaphysically...

Now, this is the sort of book they should be reading in English Lit 101

Because, after all, isn't this what all great literature is about? 

And everybody needs one of these...don't they?

Most of us are above average

In the number of feet. Seek out and read the bloody book.  Most Americans have no clue about the meaning of statistics; you see a number, you figure well, somebody counted it. Maybe yes, maybe no. It all depends -- on who counts, what they are counting, where they are standing when they count and on and on and on and on. As things devolve further, this will become either more important so you can make an informed choice, or more depressing because you'll have a better understanding of why your informed choice won't work either. The 
 

Pork Bellies and Dwarfian View of Australia, Tom Friedman and Valerie Bertinelli's Ass

I am constitutionally unable to read Tom Friedman, listen to him on TV or even discuss him rationally. When the significant other proposed that we read "The World is Flat" together outloud while cuddling, I accused her of being on acid. I wasn't sure why, but whenever I started to read anything, or listen to anything, my brain would shut off and go to a happy place where Hendrix, Johnny Cash and Socrates are jamming. On kazoos. Anything is better than Friedman.

Well, Matt Taibbi has explained my reaction. Freidman is a hyprocritical idiot. The Times needs to Taibbi and put Freidman to work on the Obiturary Page or possibly the social news; maybe Murdoch would be interested in adding him to the editorial page of the Examiner. Or the Journal. Taibbi has a no bullshit, "what the fuck are you saying!" approach that resembles Hunter Thompson only without all the drama and drugs references...to his own use. I started reading the review, smiling slightly, but then started to laugh. It takes a lot to make the AXE laugh like this. It wasn't Lenny Bruce, "Come on down, Christ and Moses laughing:" it wasn't "Coke (the cola, not the other stuff; I'm clean and sober although lately I'm wondering why?) out your nose laughing..." It was the snarky glee of first reading Twain's discussion of Fenimore Cooper.

"In addition to these large rules, there are some little ones. These require that the author shall:

12. Say what he is proposing to say, not merely come near it. 13. Use the right word, not its second cousin.14. Eschew surplusage.15. Not omit necessary details.16. Avoid slovenliness of form.17. Use good grammar.18. Employ a simple and straightforward style.

"Even these seven are coldly and persistently violated in the "Deerslayer" tale."

Twain wrote fiction, Cooper wrote fiction; Taibbi is a journalist/pundit, Freidman is a pundit/journalist. Twain didn't take Cooper personally; the guy was long dead. Taibbi takes Freidman personally, because he opposes muddied thinking, bad writing and inconsistency.  His take on Friedman's writing is vicious...

"The first rule of holes is when you’re in one, stop digging.When you’re in three, bring a lot of shovels.” (AXE Comment and snark. I remember this and thought at the time that Randy Travis should have received credit for the line. Still do. Travis writes better.) First of all, how can any single person be in three holes at once? (AXE Comment -- Friedman has the Targis, he's going ot be the next Doctor Who!) Secondly, what the fuck is he talking about? If you’re supposed to stop digging when you’re in one hole, why should you dig more in three? How does that even begin to make sense? It’s stuff like this that makes me wonder if the editors over at the New York Times editorial page spend their afternoons dropping acid or drinking rubbing alcohol. (AXE Comment -- My bet is on the rubbing alcohol, or since this is the Times, aged Absinthe...) Sending a line like that into print is the journalism equivalent of a security guard at a nuke plant waving a pair of mullahs in explosive vests through the front gate. It should never, ever happen.

But, Taibbi really makes my problem with Freidman obvious. I can establish a correlation between any two, three or ten things, but the correlation doesn't mean anything. Sure, cause and effect since Hume has been an assumption, but mere correlation is NOT PROOF! Taibbi dissects one of Friedman's more famous pieces of bullshit, the correlation between "freedom" and the price of oil.

Friedman plots exactly four points on the graph over the course of those 30 years. In 1989, as oil prices are falling, Friedman writes, “Berlin Wall Torn Down.” In 1993, again as oil prices are low, he writes, “Nigeria Privatizes First Oil Field.” 1997, oil prices still low, “Iran Calls for Dialogue of Civilizations.” Then, finally, 2005, a year of high oil prices: “Iran calls for Israel’s destruction.”Take a look for yourself: I looked at this and thought: “Gosh, what a neat trick!” Then I sat down and drew up my own graph, called SIZE OF VALERIE BERTINELLI’S ASS, 1985-2008, vs. HAP- PINESS. It turns out that there is an almost exact correlation! Note the four points on the graph:

1990: Release of Miller’s Crossing

1996-97: Crabs

2001: Ate bad tuna fish sandwich at Times Square Blimpie; felt sick 2008: Barack Obama elected

Sometimes a writer gets it and all we can do is stand in awe...at the awful and the awesome. Read the column. Enjoy. Then trash a mall...you'll understand after reading the column. I'm headed to B&N to order his book, The Great Derangement. Taibbi could be the American Zola...

The Flintstones was a documentary...

Breaking NEWS! The Religious-Right-Neo-Con-Reactionary version of  Shakesville and related sites has done us all an amazing favor. Bishop Ussher's account of the beginning of ancient history from the Creation on October 4, 4004 BCE is finally available in English, ...for homeschoolers and pastors and similarly enlightened folk everywhere. Or, should I use VOLK? You can get it by mail, or at any creation, Dinosaurs and Us-type Museum, right next to the Triceratops Petting Zoo.

"Using the Bible as his timeline, Ussher began with the death of Nebuchadnezzar as a reliable date and worked backward through the genealogies of the Old Testament to arrive at the date of creation — 4004 B.C. Integrating biblical history (around 15% of the text is from the Bible) with secular (around 85% of the material is from non-biblical sources), Ussher wrote this masterpiece. ( AXE snark: I'm confused...how is the date of old Nebuchanezzar's death reliable? On what sort of specious logic did JU base that? Carbondating? Hardly...and, this period of "research" predated modern geology, palenthology, and things like the discovery of the Rosetta Stone or the Dead Sea Scrolls. Ussher was working from the King James Bible to prove the authenticity of the King James Bible. As a work of history it ranks right up there with...fuck, I don't know, the Aeneid.)

"Considered not only a literary classic, but also an accurate reference,(AXE Snark: By whom? Bob Jones? Sarah Palin? William Jennings Bryan? ) "The Annals of the World" was so highly regarded for its preciseness that the timeline from it was included in the margins of many King James Version Bibles throughout the 18th, 19th, and 20th centuries, calling to mind the fact that the earth is only around 6,000 years old. The fact that Ussher’s chronology has been deleted from Bibles is evidence of the Church’s backsliding into the deceptive ideas of evolution. (AXE Snark: Once again, circular logic and just irritation. There's no more reason to cite Ussher as an authoritative reference in a published edition of the bible than to cite Mallory in a history of England. By the early  20th century, there had been over 150 years of biblical criticism including advanced linguistic and historical theology. Ussher was no more relevant than Mallory, and no where near as fun as Mallory.)

"The Annals of the World" is a necessary addition to any church library, pastor’s library, or any library — public or personal. The entire text has been updated from 17th-century English to present-day vernacular( AXE Snark -- The King James Version of the Bible is a marvelous piece of poetry and literature; one of the abominations of the 20th Century was applying contemporary "vernancular" to it. Frankly, if you get the translation right -- and translating from 18th Century Latin can be as tricky as translating from the 2nd Century Greek if not more so! Particularly since the majority of folks writing and thinking and speaking in Latin from the 18th Century onwards were Catholic and largely Jesuit! who have problems with bullshit, unless they're writing it themselves.) in a five-year project commissioned by Master Books. Containing many human-interest stories from the original historical documents collected by Ussher, this is more than just a history book — it’s a work of history."(AXE Snark: Yes it is. But, it's like reading Ptolemy for astronomy or Galen for medicine -- it's an interesting part of the history of ideas, but that's all it is. It tells more about the enlightenment and the effort to understand things and put them in context as opposed to blind belief. )

Thanks to Ed Brayton and Dispatches  from the Culture Wars for this one. As one of his commentators put it,

"Ed's afternoon routine:

1) Scan Wingnut Daily."

He sacrifices himself so the rest of us don't have to actually go over there ourselves. Just like everything you really need to know about Fox News you can get from The Daily Show.

It's so sad when satire need only tell the truth...

Wonkette summarizes the financial/economic meltdown very well indeed.

If you own a house, it’s now worth negative nothing. If you’re a renter, your landlord is probably already in foreclosure and you will soon be homeless. Got some investments, maybe a 401k or whatever? You really don’t even want to look. Got one of those fancy jobs with benefits and health care and such? You will soon be unemployed, living in a Hobo Jungle down by the railroad tracks in the darkness on the edge of town.

I always wondered about the title Let Us Now Praise Famous Men. It's from Ecclesiastes, which is a fine place to read ashes and despair. Still, the study of grinding poverty in the face of a souless economic   system and it's incredible illustrations belie the title. Thanks to Wonkette, I now know what it means in the context of a failed economic system -- "So, let's blame these assholes."

Tripping over facts in the face of euphoria, stupidity, ignorance and hubris

“The Army, as the service primarily responsible for ground operations, should have insisted on better Phase IV planning and preparations through its voice on the Joint Chiefs of Staff,” the study noted. “The military means employed were sufficient to destroy the Saddam regime; they were not sufficient to replace it with the type of nation-state the United States wished to see in its place.”

If you want to know what went wrong with Iraq, read the studies  being published by the Combined Arms Center and the Combat Studies Institute. The Army, Navy and Marines have a tradition going back to WWII if not further of being ruthlessly objective and straight in their studies of conflicts. Euphoria and stupidity gets soldiers, sailors and marines killed, so it's better to learn the lessons of the past that are really there than the one's you wish were there.

This war is no exception to that rule; if anything, it's the rule after years of strength training, meditation and martial arts exercises. One statement by General Jack Keane who was Vice Chief of Staff says it all...“I said, ‘Jesus Christ, John, this is a recipe for disaster,’ ” General Keane told Army historians. “I was upset about it to say the least, but the decision had been made and it was a done deal.” I wonder how many catastrophes have been the results of done deals that were too hard to unscrew...

Suck on that, you Hobbesian Stooges

Back when I had something to say - you know, before I fell into my current malaise of writing less than few sentences and toying with photoshop - I posted a review/reflection on Crispin Sartwell's Against the State. Just thought I'd throw that out there considering Captain Capitulation's most recent philosophical challenge to give a decent argument for the moral legitimacy of state power. Oh, and he's video-blogging now.

We're all doing time...

"But we’ve all got a date with the hangman, and until then, a bunch of music to be listened to, a heap of dancing to do and a three-legged dog that wants you to scratch his ears. And only you..." The AXE is trying to stop buying books based on book reviews. I find myself with piles of basically unreadable stuff that I slog through...but, I gotta say that the review of Sing Me Back Home by Dana Jennings makes me want to fail at something else.

At it's best, Country Music, like blues and some rock is "three chords and truth." It gets lost at times behind the glitter and Shania Twains. But in a lot of ways it speaks to all of us. We're all going to die, we're all going to miss someone, we're all going to be alone. We all are. Maybe a little too existential for you?

I was listening to Dylan's Theme-Time Radio on XM this week and he played some George Jones, and mentioned that Sinatra called Jones "the second best male vocalist..." Well, I've never cared that much for Jones after about 1965, but I can understand the thought. I still prefer these guys, however...