Well,that's exceptionally clear...Thanks to Wonkette and Anderson Cooper for this critical piece of insight. Now, while Palin and Joe the Plumber are exceptionally popular with the crypto-fascist base that has the Republican party enthralled, and while a Palin-Plumber ticket would be fascinating, NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! Sorry, Democrats, but that particular piece of audacious hope is just not going to come through.
One thing we know about Sarah Palin is that she's got nice legs, a tight butt and probably would do crank except for the teeth and skin thing. She's definitely got a lot of ADD and barely speaks standard American English. She speaks a version of Valley Girl-Hillbilly ebonics with some odd sports anologies and a kind of DeQuincean poetry that I personally find reminiscent of Frank Zappa at his best... Ok, let's talk basketball for a second. Since she was a pretty good point guard in high school, the idea that weak basketball analogies will work here to explain her leaving the court is absurd but understandable. This nonsense from the spokesperson that she's like a point guard making a pass and then going around the block is interestingly stupid. First of all, point guards run plays -- if they make a pass, it's for a reason; granted the other team may not know and should not know what the purpose is but this play doesn't make a fuckofa lot of sense to her own team. In fact, unlessher spokeswoman is on acid and just incoherent, nobody knows what the play is! Seems more like she's just insanely batting the ball in the hopes of keeping it in bounds. Except, she's spiking it into the official scorer's bench while heading for the locker room...giggling. To kinda crush the whole jockette thing Palin has going, here's a brief fan video of a really gutsy and superb point guard who is trying to bring her team back with a broken nose suffered in the previous game. Sue Bird is an incredible athlete with guts and poise; Sarah Palin is a never-was wannabe.
And, for grins, here's a primer on how to be a point guard for Anderson and everyone else who's still confused.
While this is kind of fun, fact is that Dr Naismith's game doesn't have a lot to do with this. There's a huge amount of speculation on this one, and parsing Palin's statement is just not helpful. It's a shame Tina Fey couldn't do a visit to Saturday Nite to toss this one into the crowd. (Actually, I'm chuckling just at the prospect of it...) One thing I do find fascinating is that Every body is speculating about it.She's pregnant again; she's cashing in; there's another big scandal coming; she's going to FOX news; she's going to teach political economics at Princeton with Paul Krugman, she's going to be the VP of Operations for Exxon. I vote pregnant, cash, and scandal. It's hard to imagine what a Palin TV show does for Fox News. Fox Sports maybe. Paul Begala nailed it, saying he wished Hunter S. Thompson was still alive, because he would have been able to explain it perfectly. We forget that Thompson was an excellent political reporter, and he'd have been on the first cargo plane to Wasilla, carrying the big white shark, his Samoan attorney, and cases of wild turkeys. Probably some peacocks too, but that's up for debate.
As Hunter said, "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." Sarah Palin makes Mark Foley, the congressman who sent filthy emails to pages look almost normal. She makes David Vitter, the senator who was hanging out with hookers, look almost boring. She makes Larry Craig, caught hitting on a cop in a men's room, look almost stable. She makes John Ensign, the senator who was having an affair with a staffer, look almost humdrum (and compared to the rest of the GOP whack-jobs, he is). And she makes Mark Sanford, the governor with the Latin lover, look positively predictable.
It was an almost impossible mission, but in resigning from office with 17 months to go in her first term, Sarah Palin has made herself the bull goose loony of the GOP.
Frankly, I think she was just jealous of Michael Jackson getting all the attention. And, in situations like this, a little bit of Aftermath is always helpful...


















Comments