Further Endorsement For 2008

We here at Defeatist Central have been trying to endorse the crap out of everything we can wrap our fetid little minds around during this election cycle ought eight.  First we had Cthulhu and Benito Guiliani and Holier Than Mao (heretofore HTM) tickets, and then the Guys from Area Fitty-Won endorsed Dead Gus Hall, which is kind of cool.  During an email session I stated that we need to endorse some more really cool dead people, and then El Serracho chimed in with a "Democracy Is Dead!  Long Live the Corpse of the Republic!"  We were all like, hells yeah.  So yesterday about around 3:00pm EST we had decided to endorse Democracy in the great campaign of oh eight.  (Hey that rhymes).  We were looking at bumper sticker designs and t-shirt templates and so on.  Then the bell rang for school to let out and we went home and enjoyed not being in our cubes. 

Mr.Fundamental had a nice dinner with Mrs.Fundamental and some friends of hers from the College Years, who are in town, and who happen to be from Norway.  Mr.Fun was bemusedly asking about how much American News they get piped to their homes, which was quite a lot from what I learned.  Apparently Norway and Norwegians are like a subset of America because they talk and dress and watch everything we do!  (Or don't, if you don't have teh eevil cable).  So the conversation turned nicely to politics, because Norwegians are as far as I can tell the most beautiful and happy people evar, and even their politics is cute.  Well what was revealed in this conversation was that Norway has a King and Queen.  Well holy shit, I thought.  That's what America could use. 

Listen, I know there's been some talk lately about our President and his abovethelawlessness and executive branch consolidations of power.  Yadda Yadda blah blah blah.  He's like Caesar or something, assuming powers that he couldn't possibly have culled from Teh Oh So Original Documents; and The American People are just loving every minute of having someone Take Charge and Defeat Terror.  Take for example, this excerpt from the Reason piece:

"I ain’t running for preacher,” Republican presidential candidate Phil Gramm snarled to religious right activists in 1995 when they urged him to run a campaign stressing moral themes.

Oh yes, yes you are buddy ole pal.  You might not have to be speaking all religiously, but you ain't getting elected unless you're saying the right things.  Just like a preacher ain't going to have people in his pews unless he's saying the right things.  Both are just talking talking talking.  Well, selling magical powers, really.  "I'll save Social Security!" one says.  "I'll save your soul!" says the other.  Nod your head and play along.  Inevitably we humans like to look around and figure out where to stand and who to fall behind.  There is not a human system on this planet that has been designed and developed that will not and cannot oxidize, corrupt and crumble. 

Now it was with this amalgam of food for thought that the Pavoni in Mr.Fundamental's head pressed out this shot of geewizzdom: we need Monarchy in 08.  Fuck man, Norway has one, why can't we?  America could use a true Royal Family.  It's like a sign of maturity of a nation to have the emblematic family that everyone adores and props up and watches closely (in tabloid form).  Sure it runs counter to the American Aesthetic, but so what?  Anyone like Thomas Paine or Ben Franklin who thought that this wouldn't happen to America, or thought that such a thing would be a bad thing for America, was a bit loopy.  Humans are gonna do what humans do: organize, judge, and prop up the best and the brightest based on some universal standard that no one can really define but everyone intrinsically understands.  Human qua human. 

America, or the idea of America (wahoo!) is an effing joke because there was/is no possible way that human beings were not going to rearrange the original arrangement into some form of hierarchy with a ruling group of people . . . be they a class or a blood line (family).  Who did the Founding Fathers think they were kidding?  I hope (or would like to think) that they knew deep down, or outside of public life, that they were the first American Defeatists. 

We need to sate the American People's appetite for a True Royal Family.  I'm serious.  Only after we do that shall we officially tone down our appetite for destruction and be good little socialist plebe's like the people in Norway.  They're beautiful AND happy at the same time.  Imagine that America!

So I vote we vote for Monarchy in 2008.  We need to pop our Official Royal Family cherry.         

Comments

[Crusader AXE]

I could go along with this if, and only if, K-Fed and Britney get back together. If we're going to have a royal family, it needs to really, really reflect our future as wella as our past. K-Fed, the official Defeatist Duke of Edinburgh just has a ring to it.

[mr.fun]

I totally like those odds.

how long do they have to stay together?

[Crusader AXE]

10-15 minutes. Or else the world will just implode with their absolute wonderfulnotness....

[Brian]

Being an Iozian (speaking of which-he does look dashing in the clothing of the French 18th century, no?) and a follower of the "Solution is dissolution" school, I would suggest we have a vast panoply of princelings. The Grand Duke of Upper Michigan sounds cool! That way, the princelings would be so busy battling each other that the ability to house troops in 200 military bases around the world would be rduced.

Brian

From the Capital of the Barony of Upper Northern California

[Crusader AXE]

Perhaps we could outsource our governmental functions to the Society for Creative Anachronism.

[Crusader AXE]

Perhaps we could outsource our governmental functions to the Society for Creative Anachronism.

[mr.fun]

LOL

pwogwess